Stress
is a killer.
There
are some who would say, “there’s good stress and then there’s bad stress.”
That’s sort of like saying, “there are good heart attacks and then there are
bad heart attacks.”
Maybe
there is some positive benefit to the stresses that will enhance our
performance, but, for the most part, stress is a negative, keeping us from
performing at peak levels, damaging our daily productivity, and decreasing the
chances of our longevity.
Many
blame stress on external forces. “We are living in stressful times.”
“This is a stressful job.” “My boss (husband, wife, co-worker, customer,
client, kid, etc.) is really stressing me out.”
The
world is not really a stressful place and these are not really stressful times.
There really are no stressful jobs. If any of these were true, then everyone in
that community, job, relationship, etc. would be stressed. Some are. Maybe most
are. But some are not.
There
are many “stress reduction” programs, seminars, and courses out there. Most are
effective. But, rather than treat the symptoms, what if we treated the disease
and rid ourselves of the causes of the stress?
Most
stress is internal, caused by the ways in which we relate to the world and
events and people around ourselves. Stress is caused when there is a disconnect
between our expectation and our reality. When reality falls short of an
expectation, it creates a disappointment and that causes stress.
For
example, let us say you drove your car to work today, your car was parked in
the nearby parking lot, and you will leave work today at 5:00 p.m. You probably
have an expectation that your car will be right where you left it when you got
to the parking lot this afternoon. Well, what if you were to discover at 5:00
p.m. that your car has been stolen? I would imagine most of us would feel some
stress from finding out about our stolen car!
But,
what if you return to the parking lot this afternoon and there is your car
exactly where you left it this morning? You insert the key and drive away. Do
you experience stress over finding your car where you left it? No, because
expectation and reality match up.
While
most of us will experience those larger disappointments in life, they are
typically few and far between so that our bodies have a chance to cope and
recover. Rather, it is all the little disappointments, which seem
inconsequential individually, but when added together throughout a day, will
really build up the stress. (Dealing with the morning rush hour, not getting
things done on time, tasks piling up, personal errands not attended to, etc.)
The
solution? Bring your reality up to your expectations. Through effective daily
planning make sure that you plan to do the little things you expect should be
done in addition to all the things you “have to” do during the day.
We
will never eliminate stress completely but, with more effective planning, we
can stabilize stress.
